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[23 Jan 2008|01:11pm] |
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas ' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling Go d to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards.
Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein
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| A perfectly adequate Christmas letter |
[19 Dec 2007|04:38pm] |
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By GARRISON KEILLOR
GUEST COLUMNIST I love reading Christmas newsletters in which the writer bursts the bonds of modesty and comes forth with one gilt-edged paragraph after another: "Tara was top scorer on the Lady Cougars soccer team and won the lead role in the college production of 'Antigone,' which, by the way, they are performing in the original Greek. Her essay on chaos theory as an investment strategy will be in the next issue of Fortune magazine, the same week she'll appear as a model in Vogue. How she does what she does and still makes Phi Beta Kappa is a wonderment to us all. And, yes, she is still volunteering at the homeless shelter." I get a couple dozen Christmas letters a year, and I sit and read them in my old bathrobe as I chow down on Hostess Twinkies. Everyone in the letters is busy as beavers, piling up honors hand over fist, volunteering up a storm, traveling to Beijing, Abu Dhabi and Antarctica; nobody is in treatment or depressed or flunking out of school, though occasionally there is a child who gets shorter shrift. "Chad is adjusting well to his new school and making friends. He especially enjoys the handicrafts." How sad for Chad. There he is in reform school learning to get along with other little felons and making belts and birdhouses, but he can't possibly measure up to the goddess Tara. Or Lindsay or Meghan or Madison, each of whom is also stupendous. This is rough on us whose children are not paragons. Most children aren't. A great many teenage children go through periods when they loathe you and go around slamming doors and playing psychotic music and saying things like "I wish I had never been born," which is a red-hot needle stuck under your fingernail. One must be very selective, writing about them for the annual newsletter. "Sean is becoming very much his own person and is unafraid to express himself. He is a lively presence in our family and his love of music is a thing to behold." I come from Minnesota, where it's considered shameful to be shameless, where modesty is always in fashion, where self-promotion is looked at askance. Give us a gold trophy and we will have it bronzed so you won't think that we think we're special. There are no Donald Trumps in Minnesota: We strangled them all in their cribs. A football player who likes to do his special dance after scoring a touchdown is something of a freak. The basis of modesty is winter. When it's 10 below zero and the wind is whipping across the tundra, there is no such thing as stylish and smart, and everybody's nose runs. And the irony is, if you're smart and stylish, nobody will tell you about your nose. You look in the rearview mirror and you see a gob of green snot hanging from your left nostril and you wonder, "How long have I been walking around like that? Is that why all those people were smiling at me?" Yes, it is. So we don't toot our own horns. We can be rather ostentatious in our modesty and can deprecate faster than you can compliment us. We are averse to flattery. We just try to focus on keeping our noses clean. So here is my Christmas letter: Dear friends. We are getting older but are in fairly good shape and moving forward insofar as we can tell. We still drink strong coffee and read the paper and drive the same old cars. We plan to go to Norway next summer. We think that this war is an unmitigated disaster that will wind up costing a trillion dollars and we worry for our country. Our child enjoys her new school and is making friends. She was a horsie in the church Christmas pageant and hunkered down beside the manger and seemed to be singing when she was supposed to. We go on working and hope to be adequate to the challenges of the coming year but are by no means confident. It's winter. God is around here somewhere but does not appear to be guiding our government at the moment. Nonetheless we persist. We see kindness all around us and bravery and we are cheered by the good humor of young people. The crabapple tree over the driveway is bare, but we have a memory of pink blossoms and expect them to return. God bless you all. |
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| This guy says it pretty well |
[18 Oct 2007|10:38pm] |
“It is a very sad time when the President of our country—elected to represent the interests of everyday people—chooses his own interests instead, vetoing legislation to reauthorize a successful program with broad bipartisan support. I expect more of the President’s misleading rhetoric in an attempt to excuse this unjustifiable move. While I am confident that the majority of Americans will not fall for his charade, such confidence sadly offers no solace to the millions of children who will no longer be able to see their doctors and receive the health care they deserve."
Elijah Cummings, Democrat, Maryland
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[03 Jul 2007|09:47pm] |
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Today I drank a Sioux City Sarsaparilla in Intercourse, PA.
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[14 Jun 2007|01:42pm] |
I am looking for recommendations again. This time, I'm in search of good albums to listen to all the way through.
Me? I recommend Music of my Mind by Stevie Wonder.
In other news, the fly infestation in my apartment has been upgraded to moth infestation.
Me? I'm pushing for pelican infestation.
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[04 Jun 2007|10:41pm] |
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I just had a conversation with the big fly that's cavorting around my kitchen table. Eye contact and everything.
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[18 Nov 2006|02:06am] |
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and some nights you miss just smoking cigarettes and playing rock n roll.
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| Recommendation |
[14 Nov 2006|10:09pm] |
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Excluding those by expatriates, Russians, beats, and Tom Robbins, what single work of fiction would you most recommend?
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| NEWSFLASH |
[07 Nov 2006|06:16pm] |
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I am an organ major now.
P.S.
Not to be obnoxious, but everybody who can should go vote.
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| Thanks to my roomate for recommending this one |
[03 Sep 2006|08:37pm] |
During the War of 1812, both the English under General Proctor and the Americans under General Wayne were following their custom of torturing their prisoners. But in the English army it was stopped by the great Indian Tecumseh, who denounced as cowards any who would torture a helpless captive. When Proctor objected that it was customary, and the men must be amused, Tecumseh challenged Proctor to mortal combat, man to man, whereupon Proctor backed down like the poltroon he was.
from The Gospel of the Redman
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| Stop my Pig! |
[31 Aug 2006|10:54pm] |
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Absconded from his lodgings a male pig seven or eight weeks old, of the Newbury white breed. Whoever may have taken him into custody, or seen him in his wanderings, and will give information thereof at this office, will be compensated. He was last seen at full speed taking an air line for Vassalborough, the place of his nativity.
- September 7, 1832, Kennebec Journal (Maine)
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[06 May 2006|01:23am] |
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i hope to god that i never lose the ability to stay up late drinking and crooning. hell, i don't even need to drink, so long as i can enjoy my god damn crooning. it lets me know that everything is still alright.
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[28 Apr 2006|12:06am] |
and some nights you just want to confess a guilty pleasure:
remember that one hit wonder from the mid-90s by des'ree? chorus went something like:
you gotta be bad
you gotta be bold
you gotta be wiser
and so on?
i love that song, and have been listening to it on repeat.
that is all.
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[24 Apr 2006|06:22pm] |
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and some days you ride your 8th grade girly bike through the mean streets of east baltimore listening to "damn it feels good to be a gansta" and you just feel like a part of it all.
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[17 Apr 2006|12:35am] |
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and some nights you and your roommate have a polyester boxers only party and god damnit it's just hilarious.
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